...good boys never win...

so, i kill things. its true.
i never hit anything before last friday and i was driving in lake wallenpaupack and ran over a possum. it sucked. i assume it sucked more for the possum, but whatever.
last night on my way home from bloom idol rehearsal i ran over another possum.
two possums, five days. i am the devil.
thank god possums are ugly.

i am a loser. i never want to do work anymore. i mean, i do it, but i really have to push myself. it sucks. i wants A's, though.

anyway-i hate that my car is dead. i hate that it died on my way out to pittsburgh. i do have my mom's car-but i would feel much better if it was my car. damn that transmission *shakes fist*

3 days until the Bloom Idol premiere show-whooo hooo!

i went to a gay bar saturday. i was inspired by a drag queen. i don't exactly know what i was inspired to do, but it will come to me. she was fierce. also, saturday i saw a guy that i sold pants to at gap before-he's a little older, but i find him exceptionally attractive. i wanted to talk to him, but for some reason i have become a chicken shit again. so we didnt talk and now i am not sure if he was into me or was making fun of me with his friends. i think i need to reread my manual.

alright, i think i am going to shower and then do work before class...what a change.

you are a question to me.
i don't want to want you.
you are a question to me.
i don't think i want an answer.

so apparently i just don't go to class anymore.
thats not true, i just feel like i don't. i need A's.
daddy needs to transfer.

i am tired.
well, here's an idea Jay, don't go out on school nights!
tomorrow i officially become a member of the newspaper staff. exciting day. i hope there isn't any initiation ceremony. if they get out crisco and a pig i am so leaving.

tonight was the first Bloom Idol rehearsal, this is going to be SO much more fun than i thought. i'm so glad i am part of this.

the display on my cell phone is broken, i should be getting my replacement in the mail tomorrow, but until that happens i will not be able to get text messages, so , of course, i have been getting them all day....

wow. this entry sucks. that's new.
there is more stuff i need to talk about, but i can't even think.

and yeah, i have friends at bloom now. its a good time. i know alot of peple on campus, but there are actually people around that i want to talk to. its nice.

i am done now....

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i totally went to denny's and consumed enough grease to kill someone. my insides ache.
if that wasn't bad enough i smoked a cigarette on the way home. i am on a downward spiral.
for the first time i enjoyed a cigarette sober, bad news.

it doesn't look like i am going to pittsburgh this weekend, which is disappointing, i so very much wanted to see erika, but it might be good if i stay home and do homework this weekend. i kind of need some time to just chill.

school is going so well. i just need to get a little more focused with biology, but we'll see.

i talked to my friend alex today, god, i had such a crush on him when we were in school together, i never said anything, which might have been silly. its a little too late now, but he is one of the most genuine people i've ever met. was awesome to hear he's doing well.

whoa. this entry sucks. i suck. gross.